A cat called Sorrow

There was a cat called Sorrow 

who prowled in, uninvited.

Its steady eyes

met mine:

a piercing acknowledgement of truth was shared between -

that of prickly, raw pain,

of Sorrow.

It crept a little closer

on silent padded paws,

hissing and spitting wildly

and without discrimination,

until it made contact with my own exposed flesh.

For at my legs it had paused,

and, purring in familial recognition, 

pounced.

Its sharp claws gouging deep and visceral,

it proceeded to rip and tear.

In breathless surprise

ice-cold fear swept deep, 

overwhelming and overpowering.

For what was this marauding intruder:

had it come to stay?

This stinging, relentless agony: 

might it never end?

This searing pain had pierced to hearts core:

would I ever be the same?

All the while

the cat continued in its self-appointed task.

Oblivious to the profound anguish it wrought, 

it seemed to me 

hell-bent on my destruction.

And yet, a shining pause 

- as unexpected as this strangers visit -

opened a possibility, a chance, a choice:

to reframe this encounter,

to make room for its visit,

and make this clawing creature

welcome,

and offer gentle accommodation.

Watching then, its shape diminished -

perhaps just a little.

And it retreated for a time -

perhaps having done its worst.

As I watched its ominous form

there came also relief at the distinction,

that this thing is not me, but something other.

And that this, my heart, heavy with grief,

was a heart also, full wide with love.

Now, here is a task -

in tending with reverent care

these smarting wounds:

a warm touch,

a mercy of attending,

a presiding of safekeeping.

And, I wonder, might it settle in my lap?

I’d rest my hand on its warm, soft head -

acknowledgment. 

Or I'll carry it around with considerate regard - 

for its visit is a burden, but just for a time.

And when the claws go deep

there's a wild hope that with time

it might loosen its grip,

perhaps even slink over to a patch of sunlight 

and curl into a ball:

a shadow memory of what was lost, broken, torn

a presence, an echo of loss.

May I have courage to gaze at the feline figure

and inhabit the reverence and respect that

enables me to pick it up and hold it

an overwhelm, a deluge

Sorrow