It is a golden Sunday afternoon.
There’s been time to stop. To light a candle. To be still.
It took all weekend: there were so many tasks, so many distractions, so much running away, before I arrived. And now I don’t want the stillness to end. I’m drawn in. Time stops. In amongst the chatter of my mind - of fleeting thoughts and my mind that wonders – there’s a gentle welcome, a coming into sanctuary. Here, I just am.
In all the complexity, all the uncertainty, all the unknowns. I’m the mixture of gratitude and joy, the gladness. I’m the wonder at the life being lived and the opportunities it brings – the mundane and the magnificent. I’m the tasks and the challenges of the week ahead. I’m nurture and care and scrambling at parenting, the simple, lovely things of provision and presence, and the struggle of provision and presence. I’m the continuous dance of letting children go and gathering them in. I’m sadness and grief – lying quietly within, being stirred up and swirling through, like the sediment at the bottom of a muddy pond, rising.
Time stops.
Sanctury gathers it all in: these waves of me, that toss and roll, that settle and surge. And in the gathering, all of it is held.
Here, in this moment, there’s the realization, the quiet awareness that what’s being held is also the rest of me within and beyond.
There, beneath these restless waves, a deeper, more quiet, more whole, more spacious and free self. Sanctuary is a welcome friend. Deep calls to deep.
The golden afternoon is shadows dancing on the wall. It is the smell of freshly baked cake. It’s the dog curled up beside me in a warm ball of peace.
The silence and stillness has broken: I’m reaching into the opportunity to write. The dog needs a walk – some happy trotting around the neighborhood, taking moments to sniff mysterious smells and to take in the day through the thrill of exploration. There are calls to be made, and dinner too. The list begins to grow again.
Yet, for a moment, I peer in. presence and Presence. A weaving of the deep. A gentle greeting. Presence, a comfort. A wonder. Beyond understanding, and yet, a precious, sacred affirmation of being. Of love and grace and goodness made real. A flame. A diving deeper. A song.
